Latest Tweets:
i couldn’t resist i bought a giant spoon ok
someone save me from my compulsive buying
you aren’t alone
OMG please get married.
(via laughingstation)
(via laughingstation)
Trying to look sexy while smiling:
Expectation:
Reality:
via laughingstation
(Source: shutyourface09, via laughingmysocksoff-deactivated2)
My childhood was fabulous.
this is why our generation is so liberal
(via laughingstation)
ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!!!
Oh my god.
I just cropped this picture and asked my boyfriend who he thought Dean was looking at.
He said, “I don’t know, does he have a wife? It’s probably his wife.”
And I just
(via the-art-of-the-state)
(Source: frigginflamingfawkes, via thathilariousasian)
i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
(Source: phd-in-awesome, via the-art-of-the-state)
for christmas, i bought my brother an ipod touch. it’s his very first ipod so i’m sure he’s going to flip shit. but since he’s been a little shit for most of the year, i’m gonna make him work for it. the ipod in wrapped in 38 various layers of bags, boxes, tissue paper, and tape. i’ve also hidden every single pair of scissors we own in our house. let’s see if he wants to play a game.
Calm it down, JigSaw.
(via the-art-of-the-state)